Al Quote #3

Quote from Al in Satellite on a Hot Tim's Roof

Tim: I was kind of hoping you could stop by Saturday, maybe have lunch, help me put it up.
Al: Oh, gee, I was hoping to have the weekend alone. Kind of a private man time.
Lisa: Al? Oh, good, Al.
Al: Yeah?
Lisa: What time did you say you wanted to come over tomorrow to help me put up my bookshelves?
Al: Oh... How about 9:00?
Lisa: That's perfect. I'll see you then. Bye, Tim.
Tim: See you, Lis. Kinda that private man time, huh?
Al: Well, she's a co-worker, Tim. I think of her as a man.
Tim: That's why you're still single, Al.

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 ‘Satellite on a Hot Tim's Roof’ Quotes

Quote from Tim

Rondall: Oh, do that thing you do on the show. That barking sound. That... [barks]
Tim: Well, it's really not barking. It's more like a simian grunt. [grunts]
Rondall: Yeah, barking, grunting, whatever. It's a very funny show. You're very funny on it.
Tim: It's not all fun and games. It's a home improvement show. Basically what we do...
Rondall: Well, but you're very funny on it. Not like the other guy on the show. The guy who knows everything.
Tim: Al. Al's my assistant. He assists me.

Quote from Jill

Jill: Tim, what do you know about installing a satellite dish?
Tim: It's simple. Mount it, point it straight up. Any man can do that.
Jill: Yeah, but... But it has to stay up longer than ten seconds.

 Al Borland Quotes

Quote from Dead Weight

Al: I was just thinking about my mother, all the great times we used to have. When I was a kid, she used to take us to the park. We'd fly kites, she'd push us on the swing. We'd spend hours on the teeter-totter.
Tim: I used to love the teeter-totter. Up and down. Up and down.
Al: Down?
Tim: Well, they play it differently in different parts of the country.

Quote from This Joke's for You

Al: What, your little bell will send 5,000 volts coursing through my body? [chuckles] While he stands back and yells, "Remember the Al-amo!"
Tim: I just want you to press the bell.
Al: I know... It's just a setup, isn't it? It's one big setup.
Tim: It is not a setup!
Al: Soon you'll start in with the uncalled-for slams against my mother...
Tim: Al.
Al: How she always shops in the husky section. How she wiped out the all-you-can-eat salad bar.
Tim: Al, I simply came out here to put this thing together.
Al: Well, go ahead. Just say it. My mother is a big fat cow!
Tim: Goodness gracious, Al. We'll be right back after these messages from Binford Tools.