Wilson Quote #8
Tim: I was wondering, when you watch my show Tool Time, do you think I'm funny?
Wilson: Well, I've got to be honest with you, Tim. I've never seen the show.
Tim: You've never seen my show?
Wilson: No. But I don't have a television.
Tim: Everybody's got a TV.
Wilson: Not me. I just use my imagination. Watch the pictures inside my mind.
Tim: Cuts down on reruns then, doesn't it?
Wilson: Not really, Tim. There's always déjà vu.
Quote from Tim
Rondall: Oh, do that thing you do on the show. That barking sound. That... [barks]
Tim: Well, it's really not barking. It's more like a simian grunt. [grunts]
Rondall: Yeah, barking, grunting, whatever. It's a very funny show. You're very funny on it.
Tim: It's not all fun and games. It's a home improvement show. Basically what we do...
Rondall: Well, but you're very funny on it. Not like the other guy on the show. The guy who knows everything.
Tim: Al. Al's my assistant. He assists me.
Quote from Bye Bye Birdie
Tim: I want Brad to be a good student.
Tim: So I told him that multiplying compound fractions is a real important part of that. But, you know, between you and me, it's kinda useless information.
Wilson: Well, I don't know about that, Tim. There was a time when I thought my extensive research into ancient tribal cultures, obscure scientific data, the thoughts of great philosophers, would never come in handy. Then you moved in.
Quote from Doctor in the House
Wilson: A Ph.D.?! Tim? Aw, Jill, Jill, Jill, Jill... Do you realize how many hours I had to study to get my doctorate in forgotten languages and extinct cultures? Oh, my, my, my. Sitting in that library, reading that insufferable microfilm till I thought I would practically go blind? Not to mention that to support myself, I had to volunteer as a subject for lab experiments. Oh, oh. And the thing that really irritates me about this whole thing...
Wilson: Oh, Jill, Jill, talk me down, talk me down.
Jill: I came out here so you'd talk me down.
Wilson: Oh, I'm sorry, Jill. I just lost control.