Tim: I don't want you to miss the opportunity for an education because you're afraid of messing up.
Brad: Well, don't you ever worry about messing up?
Tim: Have you ever seen Tool Time?
Brad: Yeah, I guess you're right.

Brad: I was just taking the math test. Gosh, it was so hard I'm scared to find out my score.
Tim: Well, let's add it up. How do we do this?
Brad: Well, I already did the adding and the subtracting. You have to take this number here and divide it by four.
Tim: Well, don't worry. Math is just simple logic. Let's see, two, two...
Brad: Well, Dad, when you divide, shouldn't the number get smaller?
Tim: I've been dividing since I was a kid. That is your score. Forty-two hundred, baby!
Brad: Dad, the highest possible score is 800. You know what? I bet you added a zero to the 420.
Tim: Don't be silly. You add a zero to 420, you still get 420.
Brad: Yeah, you're right.

Jill: Do you realize how close we came to having another son in a foreign country?
Tim: What's with these kids anyway? Other people want to come to America, these kids just want to get out.
Jill: Do you think it's my cooking?
Tim: You combine that with this couch, and...