Tim Quote #3080
Heidi: Our next contestants are a rap group, and they are big fans of the show. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome L.L. Tool J and Grand Master Bath!
L.L. Tool J : What's up? [rap] Yo, Tim's in the house
Grand Master Bath: Rock the house
L.L. Tool J : Yo, Tim's in the house
Grand Master Bath: Rock the house
L.L. Tool J : I say Tim's in the house
Grand Master Bath: Rock the house
L.L. Tool J : You say Tim's in the house?
Grand Master Bath: Wreck the house
L.L. Tool J : If you got a nice place
Grand Master Bath: And you want it kept
L.L. Tool J : Then ban Mr. Tim
Grand Master Bath: Because he's inept
L.L. Tool J : He'll blow off your roof
Grand Master Bath: And destroy your kitchen
L.L. Tool J : And next thing you know
Grand Master Bath: Your girlfriend's bitchin'
L.L. Tool J : 'Cause Tim is in the house [Tim hits the gong]
Grand Master Bath: Wreck the house
L.L. Tool J : Yo, what's up with that?
Tim: You dissed the boss. That means you lost.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Adios’ Quotes
Quote from Randy
Tim: We never talked about girls.
Randy: Well, I'm not leaving until Saturday. What do you want to know?
Quote from Wilson
Wilson: Tim, have you ever heard of a play...
Tim: No, no, no. No plays, no ballets, no chamber music. None of that. Just give it to me straight.
Wilson: [chuckles] I'm talking about the Shakespearean comedy As You Like It. Now in this play, the young Rosalind is uncomfortable expressing her feelings for the nobleman Orlando. The only way she can speak her mind is by dressing up as a man, the shepherd Ganymede.
Tim: Okay. What does a cross-dressing sheep lover have to do with me?
Wilson: Well, I suspect, just as Rosalind masqueraded as Ganymede, perhaps you were masquerading as Jill.
Tim: [looks around] Once I tried on a pump. It was Halloween, for God's sake!
Wilson: No, I'm talking about masquerading your feelings. I mean, is Jill really the one who will miss sharing the hot rod with Randy?
Tim: Of course. She's the one... Are you suggesting I stopped him from going because of my feelings?
Wilson: Well, that answer can only come from the masquerader.
Tim: All right, all right. I tried on the pantyhose, too.
Quote from Tim
Tim: But you're gonna be just fine. You're gonna do well.
Randy: You think so?
Tim: Yeah. You've survived every natural disaster known to man... right here in this house.