Tim Quote #2989
Quote from Tim in Believe It or Not
Tim: Hi, and welcome back to Tool Time. We're here with professional roofer Tony Bruschetta is talking about harnessing and safety.
Al: Tony's gonna show us two different systems which allow you to anchor yourself to the roof.
Tim: There's actually a third system which allows Al's mom to anchor herself to a frost-free Frigidaire.
Al: Well, Tony's family's been in the business for 65 years. You must've logged a lot of hours on the roof. Does it ever get lonely at the top?
Tony: Well, you know, I can't complain. I mean, I've got a roof over my head.
Al: Uh-huh.
Tony: No, wait, it's under my feet!
Tim: It's a 30-minute show, fellas. I'll do the jokes.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Believe It or Not’ Quotes
Quote from Benny
Tim: I'm talking about extraterrestrials.
Benny: Why would a guy need more than two? [Tim and Marty laugh]
Quote from Tim
Tim: Actually, you have spent a lot of time up on the roof. You ever noticed anything odd in the sky? Unusual sights?
Al: Uh, Tim, not with the aliens again.
Tim: No, I'm talking about UFOs, spaceships, that kind of stuff.
Al: I think the audience wants to talk about roofs, not about people from outer space.
Tim: You're awfully defensive about this.
Al: There are no aliens.
Tim: How do you know?
Tony: Hey, maybe he's hiding something.
Tim: Yeah, maybe he's hiding the fact that he's an alien.
Al: I am not now nor have I ever been an alien!
Tim: Oh, yeah? What do the first two letters of "alien" spell, Al?
Tony: Ooh...
Tim: And your mother's quite large. Perhaps she's the mothership.
Quote from Tim
Tim: OK. What do we do?
Randy: Well, we're all booted up. So access the server, double-click on the browser icon, and we'll be surfing the Net.
Tim: OK. You know, 20 years ago no one would've understood that sentence, and today it's just me.