Al Quote #388
Quote from Al in Taking Jill for Granite
Al: All right, now we'll just seal this up. And wherever we see smoke, I'll just mark that with my adhesive and we'll caulk and seal the leak. All right, here's one. Pretty common place for it. Smoke will come in under the siding there.
Tim: [taps on window] Turn off the fan!
Al: Tim probably wants me to turn up the fan. No way!
Tim: Al, I was wrong about the flue. To close the flue, it's push away from you... Close the flue!
Al: Ah, well, boy that would defeat our purpose, wouldn't it? So we'll, uh, we'll just close that up there. Seems to be stuck.
[Al's face is ashen after he is hit by a cloud of soot]
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Taking Jill for Granite’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Tim: For a minute there I thought you said you fired my granite guy.
Jill: I did. When I gave him a lift home, he came on to me.
Tim: You fired the granite guy?
Jill: Did you hear what I said? He came on to me.
Tim: Did he say you have a nice outfit or something?
Jill: He kissed me.
Tim: [stammers] What did you do?
Jill: I pushed him away.
Tim: Well, you should've fired him!
Jill: I did fire him!
Tim: You fired the granite guy?!
Quote from Heidi
Heidi: Welcome to Tool Time on location from Al's living room. Today we're gonna show you how to conserve energy. Now, a good place to start would be replacing all your old insulation. I would recommend that you-
Tim: Heidi?
Heidi: Yes?
Tim: Do tell us when the camera is rolling.
Heidi: Okay... [exits]
Quote from Tim
Jill: I feel terrible, I am really sorry.
Tim: Are you? Or maybe inside you're jumping for joy? Huh? Huh? Maybe you and Ian are just spinning a web of twisted little lies. And I am just your prawn.
Jill: Tim, a prawn is a big shrimp.
Tim: Right. You can't play chess with a crustacean.