Tim Quote #2722
Quote from Tim in Losing My Religion
Tim: I guess he does stuff now that I would never think of doing. At 15, I was always spending time around garages. You know, every day... Except Sunday morning.
Mike Webber: Yeah. Well, let me ask you this, what kind of stuff does he do in his spare time?
Tim: He volunteers a lot. Last year he worked at a soup kitchen. This year he's volunteering at a hospice house.
Mike Webber: That's very admirable.
Tim: Yeah.
Mike Webber: What kind of stuff do you do in your spare time, Tim?
Tim: Well, I work on the hot rod here. I'm gonna drop this flathead into a '46 Ford convertible.
Mike Webber: That's gonna cook, man.
Tim: Yeah.
Mike Webber: It's kind of funny, you know. Some people, uh, take their spare time and work on their cars and go to church on Sunday. Others take their spare time to help their fellow man and then choose not to go to church.
Tim: Are you saying I'm not as good a Christian as my kid?
Mike Webber: It's not a contest.
Tim: Well, if it were, who would get better odds?
Mike Webber: Look, I'm not the Lord's bookie. I'm sure you're familiar with the last words of any typical Episcopalian service?
Tim: "We're number one!"
Mike Webber: Well, what I always say is, "Go in peace to love and serve the Lord". If you think about it, that's what Randy's doing, isn't it?
Tim: I never thought of it that way.
Mike Webber: He's in good shape.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Losing My Religion’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Tim: You know, there's a place where people get together and pray for God's protection.
Randy: Dad, I'm not going to church.
Tim: I was talking about Tool Time.
Quote from Jill
Jill: So what exactly are you going to be doing at the hospice?
Randy: I'll be spending my time with a woman named Elaine. You know, we'll play cards, watch videos.
Tim: Hey, why don't you take her some old Tool Time videos?
Jill: The woman has suffered enough.
Quote from Tim
Jill: What is this? I mean, you're not exactly Mr. Religious. I mean, half the time in church you fall asleep.
Tim: But I'm in the building, so I get credit.
Jill: [laughs] Is that what this is about?
Tim: That's God's plan.
Jill: God's plan?
Tim: Yes, you go to church, you get credit. You fall asleep, you lose a credit. You understand the sermon, you get extra credit. If you get enough credits, you can bypass hell and upgrade right to heaven.