Tim Quote #2710
Quote from Tim in Losing My Religion
Tim: Thank you, Heidi, and welcome to Tool Time. I am hm... Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor. And of course, you all know my assistant, Al Borland.
Al: Wow. We have a very special show for you today. Tim and I are proud to be building something for my church. Thank you, Heidi. This cabinet will become a place for the piscina.
Tim: Now, be very careful. They're worth a lot of money, especially the old piscinas. You gotta make sure the piscina fits in there well. The new modern piscinas aren't as nice as the old piscinas, but with piscinas you always want to be careful.
Al: You have no idea what a piscina is, do you, Tim?
Tim: No. A piscina is a special basin used in the disposal of baptismal water, leftover wine...
Al: And maybe those annoying oils?
Tim: Anointing oils. Those, too. So, basically, it's a sink.
Al: Well, it's not an ordinary sink. See, it has no faucets.
Tim: So, it's not even as good as a sink.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Losing My Religion’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Tim: You know, there's a place where people get together and pray for God's protection.
Randy: Dad, I'm not going to church.
Tim: I was talking about Tool Time.
Quote from Jill
Jill: So what exactly are you going to be doing at the hospice?
Randy: I'll be spending my time with a woman named Elaine. You know, we'll play cards, watch videos.
Tim: Hey, why don't you take her some old Tool Time videos?
Jill: The woman has suffered enough.
Quote from Tim
Jill: What is this? I mean, you're not exactly Mr. Religious. I mean, half the time in church you fall asleep.
Tim: But I'm in the building, so I get credit.
Jill: [laughs] Is that what this is about?
Tim: That's God's plan.
Jill: God's plan?
Tim: Yes, you go to church, you get credit. You fall asleep, you lose a credit. You understand the sermon, you get extra credit. If you get enough credits, you can bypass hell and upgrade right to heaven.