Tim Quote #2649
Quote from Tim in Pump You Up
Jill: Why did the coach kick you off the team?
Brad: Because I told him off when he benched me.
Tim: Why did he bench you?
Jill: More importantly, who are you to tell your coach off?
Brad: Mom, we were up six to nothing thanks to me. Then our coach gets this idea he should put in some of the crappy players.
Jill: The crappy players?
Brad: I'm just trying to build up my stats. I had three goals and it wasn't even half-time.
Tim: I don't care if you had three- Three goals at half-time? [Jill nudges Tim] I don't care if you had 600 goals. The coach runs the team, Brad.
Brad: The coach wouldn't have a team without me.
Tim: Me, me, me, me, me! When did you become the center of your own universe?
Jill: Why don't you ask your shirt?
Tim: Shirts don't talk.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Pump You Up’ Quotes
Quote from Al
Tim: Is, um, fitness a big deal at K&B Construction?
Rock: Ah, it's job one, Timmy. According to researchers at K&B R&D, being in shape can help prevent injuries at the workplace.
Al: Well, the only way I can prevent injuries in our workplace is if Tim calls in sick.
Dwayne: That's a good one, Al!
Quote from Jill
Tim: What is with him? Where did he get the idea I'd approve of him disobeying coach?
Jill: I don't know. Maybe it had something to do with "Brad, you're awesome." "Brad, you're the bomb." "I can't hear you!"
Tim: Oh! You're blaming this on me?
Jill: No, I'm not just blaming you. I'm blaming every man who thinks sports are the only thing that matters in the whole world. I blame the press for writing about winners. I blame the networks for making every game seem like life and death. I blame the advertisers who only care about selling beer and $200 sneakers.
Tim: You're a rather angry woman, aren't you?
Quote from Jill
Jill: Randy, it's not really nice to duck people.
Randy: Oh, well, you would know, being one of the all-time great couple-duckers.
Jill: Me? I am not a couple-ducker.
Randy: Oh, come on, Mom! Remember the Goodmans? I mean, for a month we couldn't turn on our lights so they wouldn't know we were back from vacation.
Lauren: We don't know what to do, Mrs. Taylor. We're desperate.
Jill: Now, I don't really condone this. But if you have to avoid somebody, here's what you do. Whenever they want to get together, be agreeable but vague. Use phrases like, uh, "after the holidays" or "when things settle down." Oh, and if you ever run into them unexpectedly, be sure that you always have some emergency you have to deal with.
Randy: With this family, you don't even have to make that up.