Jill Quote #847
Quote from Jill in Pump You Up
Jill: Randy, it's not really nice to duck people.
Randy: Oh, well, you would know, being one of the all-time great couple-duckers.
Jill: Me? I am not a couple-ducker.
Randy: Oh, come on, Mom! Remember the Goodmans? I mean, for a month we couldn't turn on our lights so they wouldn't know we were back from vacation.
Lauren: We don't know what to do, Mrs. Taylor. We're desperate.
Jill: Now, I don't really condone this. But if you have to avoid somebody, here's what you do. Whenever they want to get together, be agreeable but vague. Use phrases like, uh, "after the holidays" or "when things settle down." Oh, and if you ever run into them unexpectedly, be sure that you always have some emergency you have to deal with.
Randy: With this family, you don't even have to make that up.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Pump You Up’ Quotes
Quote from Al
Tim: Is, um, fitness a big deal at K&B Construction?
Rock: Ah, it's job one, Timmy. According to researchers at K&B R&D, being in shape can help prevent injuries at the workplace.
Al: Well, the only way I can prevent injuries in our workplace is if Tim calls in sick.
Dwayne: That's a good one, Al!
Quote from Jill
Tim: What is with him? Where did he get the idea I'd approve of him disobeying coach?
Jill: I don't know. Maybe it had something to do with "Brad, you're awesome." "Brad, you're the bomb." "I can't hear you!"
Tim: Oh! You're blaming this on me?
Jill: No, I'm not just blaming you. I'm blaming every man who thinks sports are the only thing that matters in the whole world. I blame the press for writing about winners. I blame the networks for making every game seem like life and death. I blame the advertisers who only care about selling beer and $200 sneakers.
Tim: You're a rather angry woman, aren't you?
Quote from Wilson
Wilson: You know, Tim, my father and I went through the same thing together.
Tim: You played soccer?
Wilson: No, no, no, no, no, no. Bagpipes. You know, Tim, I was quite a prodigy, but my father used to pressure me to practice five hours a day. And that pressure brought on one of the darkest days of my life. Tim, at the Saint Patrick's Day Parade, I showboated. Without shame, I drowned out the entire All-City Leprechaun Choir.
Tim: That reminds me of the time-
Wilson: Tim, we're talking about me.
Tim: Sorry.
Wilson: My father realized that his badgering was partly the cause of my behavior.
Tim: What did he do about it?
Wilson: Well, he lightened up. Said, "Do your best. If you're not the greatest bagpipe player in the world, it's OK." Oh, Tim, I felt so much better. I sat right down. I wrote a letter of apology to each and every leprechaun.
Tim: Wow. Did you have to write really, really tiny?
Wilson: No, Tim. I didn't.