Tim Quote #2429

Quote from Tim in A Funny Valentine

Jill: Oh, you're back soon. I'm dying to know. How'd it go?
Tim: Please don't ask.
Jill: Too late. You have to tell me everything. Is she still cute? Does she still want you?
Tim: Jill, Liddy Talbot had an affair with my father.
Jill: Your father had an affair with a high-school girl?
Tim: No! No! Liddy Talbot is Elizabeth Talbot's mother.
Jill: That's why she looked you up, to tell you she had an affair with your father?
Tim: Well, she didn't come right out and say it. But I'm not an idiot. All the key words were there. They used to "go together." After he was married, they used to keep in "touch."

Rate

 ‘A Funny Valentine’ Quotes

Quote from Tim

Tim: Welcome to Tool Time. I am Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor. Of course, you all know my assistant, Al Borland. [crowd applause] Well, welcome to remodeling week here on Tool Time. Today we're gonna show you some space-saving items around the home, like this clever little clap rack.
Al: All right, let's start over here at the kitchen counter.
Tim: No better way to save space than utilize it well. Under-counter recycling bins.
Al: And this narrow area is a great place for a dispenser for aluminum, wax paper and plastic wrap.
Tim: And what about my special drawer?
Al: What is so special about this drawer?
Tim: This is a drawer you can put all the stuff you can't find any other place for. You know, like buttons and pins that don't work, string, thimbles, you know, navel lint, rakes, brooms, skis, poles... There's even room for you in there, Al.
Al: I don't think so, Tim.

Quote from Al

Al: All right. Now, this is a nifty idea. This is a cooling unit in a drawer. It's great for fruits and vegetables, close to the cutting board.
Tim: As well as your wine, your beer, your vodka.
Al: And that extra liver you're going to need for the transplant.

Quote from Tim

Al: Now, if you need some extra space in the utility room, this unit is a washer/dryer all in one.
Tim: Oh! Finished your laundry, Al. [holds up a large pair of flannel underpants] Oh, gosh darn it, I must've shrunk 'em.
Al: All right. Now, over to the family unit here.
Tim: Now, you can't possibly tell me these are called briefs. How many flannels you have to kill to get underwear this size?