Al Quote #313
Quote from Al in Jill and Her Sisters
Al: Autumn leaves are falling off the trees and that means more work in your yard.
Tim: Yeah. I don't know about you, but when I was a kid, raking leaves, worst job. Every Saturday, my mom: "You get out there and rake leaves. And get your brother out of that bag!" The only fun we had when I was a kid was you'd be able to burn them in big piles. All that smoke and everything.
Al: Ah, but we can't do that anymore, because it's not good for the environment.
Tim: Not at all.
Al: But there are fine tools that can help you clean up leaves more effectively.
Tim: Let's take a look at some of them.
Al: OK. Well, right over here we've got the Binford 6100 hand-held electric blower.
Tim: Now, that's a lot of fun, blowing the leaves in your neighbor's yard. But if he catches you, you still gotta put them in a bag and do something with them.
Al: Well, then what we have here is the 6100 Mulch 'n Vac. This will vacuum your leaves and mulch them at the same time.
Tim: Now, as nice as that machine is, you know what I've always wondered?
Al: Why everybody likes Al?
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Jill and Her Sisters’ Quotes
Quote from Wilson
Jill: We're supposed to be planning this very important event in my parents' lives and my sisters bail. I don't know why I'm surprised. I mean, they get to be crazy. I have to be the sensible one.
Wilson: Well, it can be quite a burden.
Jill: Do you have any idea what it's like to have everybody come with their problems, and expect you to solve them?
[Jill looks away as Wilson peeks over his menu]
Wilson: You know, Jill, I realize it isn't easy. A lot of people think it's a picnic for me to stand by the fence and offer up a quotation for every situation. I mean, what am I, a library?
Quote from Tim
Jill: Stop it. Stop it! You are all insane. And I'm insane for sitting here listening to this. I'm sick of all this fighting. I'm sick of playing referee in this family. And when there is no party for Mom and Dad you can tell them why. [heads upstairs]
Tim: Jill?
Linda: Well, what's wrong with her?
Tracy: Well, I don't know. I mean, she's always so sensible. At least, you'd think she'd try a little harder with family here for God's sake.
Tim: Excuse me. Excuse me. My wife has been up all night worrying because you hens won't stop bickering. Huh? She tries to do something nice for your parents and how do you thank her? You argue about a cat playing a piano and Hank Fahrvegnugen! You know what? I'm sick of this stuff too. From now on, you're no longer welcome at my sausage bar.
Quote from Randy
Randy: How can so much noise come out of one nose?
Mark: Maybe if we close it.
Randy: No, then the noise would just come out of his mouth.
Brad: Well, what if we close his nose and his mouth?
Randy: I think that's called murder.