Randy Quote #264
Quote from Randy in Mr. Wilson's Opus
Randy: You know, it's too bad you're busy. I was gonna ask you if you wanted to direct my school play.
Wilson: Romeo and Juliet?
Randy: Yeah. The director had to drop out.
Wilson: Oh, Randy, I'm so sorry. Normally I would just jump at that chance. Oh! Oh, oh! See, it's long been a dream of mine to direct Shakespeare.
Randy: Well, Wilson, this could make your dream come true. Not to mention my dream of kissing Sharon Liebowitz.
Wilson: Well, Randy, even if I agree to do it, how do you know the school will approve?
Randy: Are you kidding me? They'll love the idea. You've got the qualities no one else has.
Wilson: Oh, really? What are they?
Randy: You're available and you're not pregnant.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Mr. Wilson's Opus’ Quotes
Quote from Al
Tim: Welcome to Tool Time. I am Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor. And you all know my assistant, Al "He's a Thorn in My - ow! Siding" Borland.
Al: What Tim is trying to say is that it's Siding Week on Tool Time. And today we're gonna be working with aluminum. Or as I like to call it: "Al-luminum."
Tim: You know, you're the only one that thinks it's funny putting the word "Al" in every sentence.
Al: "Al" be the judge of that. [snorts]
Tim: A few more jokes like that, you'll be working in "Al-toona."
Al: Sorry. All right, let's get to our "inst-Al-lation."
Tim: Would you stop it, please?
Quote from Al
Tim: Last time, we showed you how to install your half-inch foam board over your existing shingles. Now it's time to turn to aluminum.
Al: That's right. And our siding comes in 12-foot lengths. You're often gonna need to cut this around the lighting fixtures and faucets.
Al: Which means you'll have to do some measuring.
Tim: Al uses the old carpenter's adage, "Measure twice, cut once."
Al: Tim's adage is, "Never measure, cut yourself."
Quote from Wilson
Tim: Well, I'm putting the finishing touches on the aluminum set. What do you think?
Wilson: Well, I'm thinking I won't be able to use this set.
Tim: [inquisitive grunt]
Wilson: Tim, the suburban interpretation - it's all wrong. Why not just give Juliet a three-car garage?
Tim: All right, I see it. If we're gonna go with this, three-car garage. She's Italian. Doesn't want to get the Ferraris rained on. I like it!
Wilson: Tim, the sets have to fit my vision.
Tim: Pardonnez-moi. I happen to be the set designer.
Wilson: And I am the director.