Jill Quote #646
Quote from Jill in Tanks for the Memories
Tim: Bill, what are the chances of me driving that tank again?
Lt. Col. McDougal: Oh, about the same as Tool Time winning an Emmy.
Tim: You know, that little tank accident could've happened to anyone.
Lt. Col. McDougal: Tim, it's never happened in the history of the Marines.
Jill: Well, the important thing is that nobody got hurt. And we know our country would win if we're ever invaded by enemy golf carts.
Lt. Col. McDougal: Tim, not only is she a better tank driver than you, she's also funnier.
Tim: Yeah. I just can't stop laughing, Bill.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Tanks for the Memories’ Quotes
Quote from Al
Al: Now, the object of the game is to finish your project without having to call an ambulance. You can learn as you go along. Mark, why don't you start us off?
Mark: OK. Start. Two. "Tim makes bad joke about Al's mom. Audience boos. Lose a turn."
Al: Mother loves that card.
Brad: All right, it's my turn.
Al: That's right.
Brad: Ooh, four. "Al's away at National Bingo Finals. Tim hosts show alone and ratings drop."
Randy: All right. My turn. All right, here we go. Six, OK... five, six. All All right. Pick up a card. "Tim installs faulty wiring. You're accidentally electrocuted."
[Sparks fly on the game as Randy's figure is knocked down. The lights flash and sirens wail on the ambulance and emergency room]
Al: You lose.
Quote from Al
Al: Well, that was a pretty quick game of Scrabble. Now we're ready for Chinese Checkers.
Brad: Oh, sorry, Al. Mom says we're not allowed to be playing "Chinese Checkers" before bed. Makes us too hyper.
Al: All right. Well, if conventional games don't tickle your fancy, I have a board game that you have never seen.
I invented this myself. It is the prototype for what could become a national craze.
Mark: "The Tool Time Game"? Awesome! How do you play?
Al: Well, you have your choice of figures. You can be Heidi. You can be Al. And you can be Tim in a body cast.
Brad: All right, I got Heidi.
Randy: Al.
Mark: Aw, man!
Quote from Al
Tim: Well, let's cut to the chase. Is there any way you could swing it so that I could drive a tank?
Lt. Col. McDougal: Well, Tim, if you ever came to California, where I'm stationed, I'm sure we could arrange it.
Tim: All right!
Al: Excuse me, Colonel, but letting Tim drive a tank, well... that's jeopardizing national security.
Tim: Let it go, Al, please?
Lt. Col. McDougal: Al, you got nothing to worry about. We've got 10,000 Marines on the base to keep their eyes on Tim.
Tim: Right!
Al: It's not enough.