Al Quote #263
Quote from Al in Tanks for the Memories
Al: Well, are you ready for a carefree, wild weekend?
Mark: Yeah. What are we gonna do?
Al: I thought we would... Don't touch that. Your dad already broke it. You know, I thought maybe we'd start off with a rousing game of... Parcheesi! Huh? Winner gets a fat-free fig bar.
Randy: What a treat for three fig lovers like us!
Al: Oh, not to worry. I got a consolation prize - low-sodium rice cakes.
Brad: This is great. Mom and Dad get to go to California, and we get figs and rice.
Al: OK, I see what it is. You guys are feeling a little left out. Huh? Yeah, well, I know what it feels like to be left out. When I was your age, my folks left me when they went off to the Amish country. I remained bitter for years.
Randy: Well, you got over it, right?
Al: Rather not talk about it.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Tanks for the Memories’ Quotes
Quote from Al
Al: Now, the object of the game is to finish your project without having to call an ambulance. You can learn as you go along. Mark, why don't you start us off?
Mark: OK. Start. Two. "Tim makes bad joke about Al's mom. Audience boos. Lose a turn."
Al: Mother loves that card.
Brad: All right, it's my turn.
Al: That's right.
Brad: Ooh, four. "Al's away at National Bingo Finals. Tim hosts show alone and ratings drop."
Randy: All right. My turn. All right, here we go. Six, OK... five, six. All All right. Pick up a card. "Tim installs faulty wiring. You're accidentally electrocuted."
[Sparks fly on the game as Randy's figure is knocked down. The lights flash and sirens wail on the ambulance and emergency room]
Al: You lose.
Quote from Al
Al: Well, that was a pretty quick game of Scrabble. Now we're ready for Chinese Checkers.
Brad: Oh, sorry, Al. Mom says we're not allowed to be playing "Chinese Checkers" before bed. Makes us too hyper.
Al: All right. Well, if conventional games don't tickle your fancy, I have a board game that you have never seen.
I invented this myself. It is the prototype for what could become a national craze.
Mark: "The Tool Time Game"? Awesome! How do you play?
Al: Well, you have your choice of figures. You can be Heidi. You can be Al. And you can be Tim in a body cast.
Brad: All right, I got Heidi.
Randy: Al.
Mark: Aw, man!
Quote from Al
Tim: Well, let's cut to the chase. Is there any way you could swing it so that I could drive a tank?
Lt. Col. McDougal: Well, Tim, if you ever came to California, where I'm stationed, I'm sure we could arrange it.
Tim: All right!
Al: Excuse me, Colonel, but letting Tim drive a tank, well... that's jeopardizing national security.
Tim: Let it go, Al, please?
Lt. Col. McDougal: Al, you got nothing to worry about. We've got 10,000 Marines on the base to keep their eyes on Tim.
Tim: Right!
Al: It's not enough.