Wilson: Well, maybe you can remind Brad of the famous Hindustan proverb: "True nobility lies not in being superior to another man, but in being superior to one's previous self."
Tim: Ooh, yeah!
Jill: That is so perfect.
Tim: Like it. Where do you keep coming up with these things?
Wilson: Oh, neighbor, neighbor. I've spent my entire life studying the wisdom of intelligent thinkers and philosophers. However, this one I read in a fortune cookie.

Tim: While Milton's mixing up my highball, let's look at the carpet.
Al: Marv, if you wanna come in here, we have 100% astroturf. It's good for Saturday golf and Monday Night Football. Milton, I'm open!
Tim: Ooh. [catches football] Ha-ha. Looks like it's gonna be my day. [scoreboard: "Tim 97 Al 0"] All right, let's take a look at the nightstands. On my side... a mesquite barbecue grill. On your side...
Al: You have a phone, place for your beer and a virtual reality system.
Tim: This way, when your wife's reading about Fabio, you could be racing Indy with Mario. In this case, guys, a fast finishing bed is not a bad thing. And if you do make your wife happy, she's got the little red button. Press this. [cheers and applause] Thank you, honey. I do what I can.

Tim: Welcome, ladies and gentleman, to the Binford 6100 man's bedroom. [fanfare] Yeah, this is no babe's boudoir.
Al: No honey's hideaway.
Tim: No wench's way station. Men, you've had lace in your face for far too long. Now it's time to come home... [knocks] to chrome.
Al: That's why we built the Man's Bedroom. So he feels as comfortable here as he does in his neighborhood bar.
Tim: As a matter of fact, in the Man's Bedroom, we have the neighborhood bar. Well, Milton, how's business?
Milton: Slow. What will it be?
Tim: Oh, a perfect Manhattan for me and a Shirley Temple for Al.