Jill: Tim, I just got a call from the school about Brad.
Tim: Another A?
Jill: No. They said he flunked his last two tests and he hasn't been turning in his homework.
Tim: What's that about? He's been doing so well.
Jill: Well, you know what's going on, don't you?
Tim: Well, it doesn't take a genius to figure it out, no. He can't concentrate 'cause all the other kids are asking him about the Man's Bedroom. [Jill and Wilson stare blankly at Tim] Well, what's your theory?

Tim: While Milton's mixing up my highball, let's look at the carpet.
Al: Marv, if you wanna come in here, we have 100% astroturf. It's good for Saturday golf and Monday Night Football. Milton, I'm open!
Tim: Ooh. [catches football] Ha-ha. Looks like it's gonna be my day. [scoreboard: "Tim 97 Al 0"] All right, let's take a look at the nightstands. On my side... a mesquite barbecue grill. On your side...
Al: You have a phone, place for your beer and a virtual reality system.
Tim: This way, when your wife's reading about Fabio, you could be racing Indy with Mario. In this case, guys, a fast finishing bed is not a bad thing. And if you do make your wife happy, she's got the little red button. Press this. [cheers and applause] Thank you, honey. I do what I can.

Tim: Welcome, ladies and gentleman, to the Binford 6100 man's bedroom. [fanfare] Yeah, this is no babe's boudoir.
Al: No honey's hideaway.
Tim: No wench's way station. Men, you've had lace in your face for far too long. Now it's time to come home... [knocks] to chrome.
Al: That's why we built the Man's Bedroom. So he feels as comfortable here as he does in his neighborhood bar.
Tim: As a matter of fact, in the Man's Bedroom, we have the neighborhood bar. Well, Milton, how's business?
Milton: Slow. What will it be?
Tim: Oh, a perfect Manhattan for me and a Shirley Temple for Al.