Tim Quote #1646
Quote from Tim in Wilson's Girlfriend
Al: Welcome back to Bachelor Week right here on Tool Time. If you remember, yesterday Tim showed us how to shave in the car when you're running behind. [Tim has small band-aids all over his face] Today, it's Al's turn, with a look at the rough-and-tumble world of...
Al: Ironing. Now, ironing used to be a woman's domain. But not these days.
Tim: Because they won't do it for us anymore.
Al: More importantly, a man should know how to do his own ironing. Now, I think of an iron as just another tool. You can even hang it from your tool belt.
Tim: But you don't want to plug it in, 'cause there are certain things you don't want ironed.
Al: Historically, men have been ironing for ages. The first irons were made of iron heated by fire. This iron here was developed to be heated by coal.
Tim: Then came the nine irons, your tire irons, and my personal favorite, your Jeremy Irons. He's so wonderful.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Wilson's Girlfriend’ Quotes
Quote from Wilson
Judith: Jill has told me so much about you. It's all been great.
Wilson: Well, I am flattered.
Judith: The only thing she didn't tell me is your last name.
Wilson: It's Wilson.
Judith: Oh, I thought that was your first name.
Wilson: Wilson is my first name.
Tim: Well, it's not that unusual. I'm actually Tim Tim. This is Jill Jill. [Jill nudges Tim] Sorry sorry.
Quote from Tim
Jill: Judith says that Wilson has a problem with intimacy.
Tim: Oh! So he can't... Oh. Oh, God. Oh! Oh! Well... Oh, honey! I mean, I would have never known. He wouldn't talk about something like that. Oh, no wonder he's got all this... Probably an old war injury or something, huh?
Jill: Not that kind of intimacy! I'm talking about emotional intimacy.
Tim: Oh, thank God it's nothing important. Whoo!
Quote from Tim
Jill: He doesn't share his feelings. She's spent every day of the last two weeks with him and she feels she doesn't know who he is.
Tim: Well, tell her I've spent the last 15 years with him, and I don't know who he is. It doesn't hurt our relationship.
Jill: I think that she wants something more from the relationship. She wants to go to the next level.
Tim: What is it with women and the "next level"? What's wrong with the level we're on? Just take the elevator and leave us the heck alone. Hm?
Jill: Every time she asks him about himself, all he does is intellectualize or say something weird.
Tim: He always says something weird. That's what makes Wilson Wilson Wilson.