Tim: Merry Christmas. It's Yule time here on Tool Time.
Al: Merry Christmas. You know, Christmas always reminds me of my childhood. I used to build a snowman every year. I used a carrot for its nose, cookies for its eyes, licorice for its smile.
Tim: Ah, that's a great story, Al. Unfortunately, Al's mom usually ate the snowman.
Al: One year. She used the carrot to make coleslaw.

Brad: Hey, guys, get down here. Let's see what Grandma and Grandpa got us for Christmas.
Mark: Hear anything good?
Brad: [shakes box] No, I don't hear anything.
Brad & Randy: Clothes.

Jill: Oh, come on. Gosh, I think this is going to be the perfect Christmas.
Tim: You're not kidding. I think this year, finally, my decorations are gonna beat Doc Johnson.
Jill: No. I was referring to your brother's family being here, and my parents coming.
Tim: Don't set yourself up like this. Every year your parents come, you end up locked in your bedroom going, "Why did I even invite them?"
Tim: You know what present I'd like your dad to give me? Call me "Tim" instead of "Hey, you."
Jill: Well, if you heard what he called you behind your back, you'd be happy with "Hey, you."