Tim Quote #1149

Quote from Tim in It Was the Best of Tims, It Was the Worst of Tims

Tim: OK, Felix. What do we do about a sweaty toilet?
Felix: You can install a tempering valve to mix the hot and cold water before it enters the tank.
Tim: But that would be for professional installation only. For that, hire a licensed plumber like Felix. For the do-it-yourselfer, you can just cement foam liners inside the tank.
Felix: You'll wanna drain the water from the tank first and use an epoxy resin cement, which will take a couple of hours to dry.
Tim: Yeah, but, Felix, when you gotta go, you got to go. That's why I recommend Binford's ultra-fast-drying urethane adhesive.
Felix: I'm not sure you wanna use that kind of glue.
Tim: I know what I'm doing here, OK? Just wait till it's tacky...
Felix: Tim, I'd be careful. That's instant glue you're using.
Tim: It's not like instant instant. [phone rings] Would you get that for me?
Felix: Oh, sure. [answers phone] Hello? Oh, hi, Al.
Tim: What does he want?
Felix: He wants to know if you've got your hands glued to the toilet yet.

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 ‘It Was the Best of Tims, It Was the Worst of Tims’ Quotes

Quote from Tim

Tim: What a great night with the boys, though. A lot of good food... Oh! [unbuttons belt] Ah! Ohh! I got some double-cheese nachos sitting right here. [burps] Ohh!
Jill: Tim!
Tim: Got a little gas ball moving, moving... [burps] Ah!
Jill: This is real attractive.
Tim: So... where were we?
Jill: It's kinda hard to remember.
Tim: This'll refresh your memory. [goes to kiss Jill; stifles burp] Sorry. Sorry. I'm sorry. Mark was right. Ohh. You shouldn't have double onions on those chili dogs. Hello... [vents the bed sheet]

Quote from Tim

Tim: Anyway, being a master plumber, Felix is experienced with all sorts of bathroom problems - sinks, showers... Speaking of showers, what do you think of baby showers?
Felix: Well, I'm against them. I think babies should take baths.
Tim: No, no, it's a different sort of shower. It's like when women get together and yap about what to do when their water breaks.
Felix: With any kind of water breakage, you wanna call a licensed plumber.

Quote from Tim

Tim: Anyway, today we continue our week-long salute... [drain gurgling] to plumbing. And joining us today is master plumber Felix Myman. Let's give him a big Tool Time welcome. Good to have you aboard, Felix.
Felix: Nice to be here, Tim.
Tim: Felix and I go way back, right?
Felix: That's right, Tim. I've been to your house for all of your plumbing disasters. [Tim groans] The water heater, the dishwasher, Jill's bathtub...
Tim: I think we get the point. Anyway, we'll try to get... [Al chuckles on the phone]