Al Quote #151
Quote from Al in Too Many Cooks
Al: All right, well, Tim, you wanna double check to see if I've preheated our oven to 350 degrees?
Tim: OK. I also read that you shouldn't overstuff your duck 'cause it gets in there...
Al: Tim, I've been doing this for years, I think I know what I'm doing.
Tim: I'm just saying...
Al: That's fine.
Tim: 350 on the dot. We've also moved our rack to the top level so that bird will come out nice and crispy. Voilà. OK, we're all ready for the duck.
Al: OK. [Al struggles to get his hand out of the duck]
Tim: Get it before the heat goes out.
Al: Yeah. I just... I, um... Just making sure that that is stuffed in there.
Tim: You want me to give you a hand?
Al: Uh, I think I know what I'm doing, Tim. [As Al pulls his hand out, the duck goes flying through the window]
Tim: What Al's done here is actually develop a new recipe. You've heard of pheasant under glass. This would be quacker through the glass.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Too Many Cooks’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Tim: Hi. Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor. And you all know my assistant Al "This Land Is" Borland. Today we're talking about Binford's new high-tech security alarm systems for cars, 'cause a secure car... is a happy car. While a car that isn't so secure can cost you thousands of dollars in therapy fees.
Al: Now, the most inexpensive way to protect your car is with the Binford 6100 steering-wheel lock.
Tim: It's a good lock, Al, but if you've got a larger car - a monster truck, front-end loader or a space shuttle - you want the Binford 61,000,000. Now, there's a lock. Look at the size of that thing.
Al: Well, if you wanna go the more sophisticated route...
Tim: [English accent] You might wanna watch Masterpiece Tool Time with your host Alistair Bo-o-o-orland.
Al: Would that be an English accent? I was talking more along the lines of an electric car alarm, the most basic of which will go off if your doors or windows are tampered with.
Tim: Right, but you can customize. You can have automatic door locks, ignition cutoff, gas cutoff. And not a moment too soon.
Al: Oh, very funny, Tim. I'm sure our nursery-school viewers are rolling in their sandboxes.
Tim: [hisses] Now, if you wanna go the whole hog, you... No. You probably want the Binford Thiefbuster 1000. It has a personalized voice warning system. I installed it on this pony myself. [alarm chirps] Act like a thief.
Tim's voice: [on alarm] Back away, Flannel Man! Back away, Flannel Man! Back away, Flannel Man! Back away, Flannel Man!
Quote from Al
Al: Good night, Mrs. McDowell. Thank you for coming, Mrs. Yost. Remember the weather report from the kitchen - "Chili today, hot tamale."
Quote from Heidi
Heidi: Does everybody know who's in the kitchen?
Audience: Irma!
Heidi: That's right, it's Cooking With Irma... with special guest chef Al Borland!