Tim Quote #515
Quote from Tim in Where There's a Will, There's a Way
Tim: There's been no jolly trail over here. We've been arguing about that will.
Wilson: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Tim: I hate wills. I wonder who started them. Where'd they come from?
Wilson: Well, Tim, I'm sure you could trace it back to some chiseled drawing on the cave wall of Cro-Magnon man.
Tim: Ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting. I, Grog - ting, ting, ting, ting, ting - leave my wheel - ting, ting, ting, ting - to Grog Jr. ting, ting. To my loving wife - ting, ting, ting, ting - whose shrill cry scares the mastodon - ting, ting, ting, ting - I leave this stick.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Where There's a Will, There's a Way’ Quotes
Quote from Jill
Jill: I want you to look at some of this stuff.
Tim: Oh, come on. It's tied and the Wolverines need me. Please? Please?
Jill: No, I need you. Come on, you can miss an inning.
Tim: Inning? Why do you always bug me during the football game? Did I bug you during childbirth?
Jill: No, but you bugged me during conception.
Quote from Tim
Jill: "Upon your death, how and to whom do you want your assets to be distributed?"
Tim: Why are we always talking about my death? Let's talk about your death.
Jill: Statistics show it's much more common for the man to die first.
Tim: Yeah? Well, look what we have to live with.
Jill: And it's remarks like that that lead to those early deaths.
Quote from Jill
Jill: Tim, I'm gonna make an appointment with the lawyer. If you're even thinking about getting sick, go see a doctor.
Tim: Honey, I'm healthy as a horse.
Jill: Then see a veterinarian. When was the last time that you had a complete physical?
Tim: Honey, I... I go to the doctor all the time.
Jill: I'm not talking about the emergency room.