Tim Quote #285
Quote from Tim in Unchained Malady
Tim: Before we get going, I'd like you to sit down and ask you a few questions, if I could. A little conversation about challenges. You're a renowned heavy weight. You've met a lot of challenges in your life. Has there ever been a challenge you've been unable to meet?
George Foreman: There was this seafood buffet once. I wanted to eat 16 plates of fried shrimp.
Tim: Yeah.
George Foreman: But when I got to the 13th plate, I had trouble. I started to stagger.
Tim: Whoo. What about the 14th plate?
George Foreman: TKO.
Tim: Ah, that TKO thing. Yeah.
George Foreman: Totally keeled over.
Tim: Ha. Well, I guess we can safely say you're the heavy champion of the world. Well... you know... I meant... Just a little joke, George.
George Foreman: That dinner taught me something, Tim.
Tim: What's that?
George Foreman: A man's got to know his limitations.
Tim: Yeah. That's some good advice from the champ.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Unchained Malady’ Quotes
Quote from Al
George Foreman: Well, if I'm going to hit that nail, Tim, I've got to get angry with it.
Tim: Huh?
George Foreman: So I'm going to close my eyes and imagine it's Evander Holyfield. You going to hold that nail for me?
Tim: Al, hold that nail.
Al: I don't think so, Tim.
Tim: George, hold your own nail.
George Foreman: I don't think so, Tim.
Tim: Lisa?
Lisa: [o.s.] I don't think so, Tim.
Quote from Jill
Jill: Honey, I was just making this list, and, you know, I don't think that all this bad luck is just because of that chain letter.
Tim: You don't, do you?
Jill: No, listen to this. In the last month, you have done the following. Backed a pickup truck into a house, almost electrocuted yourself three times, nailed your shoe into the floor, and glued your head to a table.
Tim: What's your point?
Jill: Well, the point is, it's not the chain letter that's bringing you bad luck. It's you. You're a klutz. Isn't that great?
Tim: Honey, I'm thrilled.
Quote from Jill
Jill: George Foreman?
Tim: Yeah.
Jill: Is he an athlete?
Tim: Yes, Jill.
Jill: I know who he is.
Tim: I know you do.
Jill: He's the quarterback for the Detroit Tigers.
Karen: No, no, no. No, no, that's Arnold Palmer.
Jill: No, no, he's a race car driver.
Tim: Ladies, ladies...
Tim: No, he's... Look...
Karen: Yeah, he won the Super Bowl.
Tim: [grunts] George Foreman happens to be the former heavy weight champion of the world.
Jill: Oh, wow. In what sport?
Tim: [sighs] Boxing. He's a boxer, Jill. Boxing.