Jill: What is this thing on your head?
Tim: It's a little piece of table.
Randy: What happened?
Tim: Old Mr. Negativity, Al, distracted me and I got my head cemented to this table. He had to take a sabre saw to get me off of that table.
Jill: Don't you think you should go to the emergency room?
Tim: I was just there. They said I wasn't a priority.
Jill: Why? Was there a guy with a whole table stuck to his head?

Wilson: You'd be surprised. Actually, the female of the species can be very aggressive.
Tim: So, what you're saying is that when women ruled the world, things weren't all that peaceful and nice.
Wilson: No. No, no, no, no, Tim. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, with women as well as men. In ancient Africa, they had entire female armies. In Babylon, they would burn a man at the stake every spring to ensure the fertility of the crops.
Tim: Ooh. That's a hell of a price to pay for zucchini.
Wilson: Well, I don't know, Tim. Maybe one day, men and women will learn to share the power. To cooperate rather than dominate.

Tim: You notice I'm not laughing.
Jill: Yeah, we'll be good. Come on, come on. Right. Randy, set the table.
Randy: Okay. Dad, bend over.