Tim Quote #72
Quote from Tim in Adventures in Fine Dining
Tim: Enough. I don't want to hear another word out of you guys. Sit down.You really did it.
Jill: I just wanna thank you, boys, for the most embarrassing night of my life. We are the only family in 12 years to have been kicked out of Wacky Jack's Pizza Pagoda.
Tim: It takes a lot of work to get kicked out of a restaurant that has a trampoline and a batting cage.
Randy: But Dad...
Tim: No buts. That's it.
Brad: It was Wacky Jack's fault. He was making those stupid faces at us.
Jill: He's a clown. That's his job.
Brad: We didn't do anything.
Tim: [mocking] "We didn't do anything." Does this look familiar? Wacky Jack's nose. You pulled it right off his face.
Randy: It's not his real nose.
Tim: I don't care whose nose it is. Don't pull things off people's faces. Hey, you know what you guys are gonna do? You're gonna take this nose, you're gonna put it in an envelope, you're gonna sign a little apology note and send it back to Wacky Jack.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Adventures in Fine Dining’ Quotes
Quote from Randy
Brad: Mom.
Jill: What?
Brad: Dad's cussing.
Tim: I'm not cussing.
Mark: He said a bad word.
Tim: It wasn't bad.
Randy: Yeah, he said "hell" and "damn".
Tim: I did not say "damn".
Randy: Now you did.
Quote from Wilson
Wilson: The problem with your boys is they don't know how to channel their mealtime aggression.
Tim: Mealtime aggression?
Wilson: See, Tim, primitive man was a hunter. He had an intimate relationship with his food.
Tim: Lot of dating with wildebeest going on?
Wilson: No, no, no. I'm talking about a spiritual intimacy. They were at one with their meat.
Tim: [inquisitive grunt]
Wilson: The hunter would stalk and kill his prey, then pay homage to the animal spirit. He would give thanks to the animal for giving its life. But the primitive man in us is confused. Today our food comes to the table. We don't know how it got there.
Tim: Gives you something to think about when you open a can of Spam, doesn't it?
Wilson: Yes, indeedy.
Quote from Tim
Jill: Now, what are we gonna do about our boys' table manners?
Tim: You should give a refresher course.
Jill: Me? What about you?
Tim: [mouth full] Honey, I'm a man. What do I know about manners?
Jill: I see. So table manners are the woman's job.
Tim: Historically. Jill, yes, that's the case. Emily Post. Amy Vanderbilt. And, of course, who could forget Miss Manners? I don't recall an etiquette column called "Ask Chuck". "You know, Chuck, I've been eating pot roast all my life. Get that little gristle piece stuck in the middle of my tooth. Do you suck it out with the tongue or ask somebody to do it? Help me out. Haul that thing out."