Tim: I'm pretty good at talking to my boys. In fact, I might be better than you.
Jill: Oh, really?
Tim: Yeah. Because no matter what stupid thing they've done, they know I've done something stupider.
Jill: Well, can't argue with that.
Tim: What I'm trying to say is there's a very special bond between fathers and sons.
Jill: Well, there's a special bond between mothers and son. It's a little thing called the umbilical cord.
Tim: Hello? He's nine. He's cordless now.