Jill: You're making Al sign, what is this, an 18-page lease?
Tim: It's a business venture, honey. I'm doing this to protect us and to protect Al.
Jill: Oh, I see. You are protecting your best friend by asking for references?
Tim: You'll notice I gave him a glowing one.
Jill: According to this sworn statement here, his apartment manager says that he once neglected to clean out a lint trap.
Tim: Yep. I had to grill that old lady six hours to get her to rat him out.
Jill: I can't believe it! You asked for Al's credit history?
Tim: You got it. Look back here. 1987, he bounced an $8 check at Cheese World.