Lorelai: I thought you were going to spend the evening trying to figure out how to fling yourself down the stairs just hard enough that you won't have to go to my parents' thing tomorrow, but not so hard that you actually die.
Luke: No, I thought instead that I'd try to find a wild boar to maul me just enough that I'll need medical attention so I won't be able to go to your parents' thing tomorrow, but after some stitches and a transfusion, I'll still be able to make you coffee.
Lorelai: Oh, much better plan.