Rory: When did we get an alarm?
Lorelai: Well, apparently, Kirk-
Rory: Oh, no.
Lorelai: ...has recently joined the Stars Hollow Security Company.
Rory: Oh, no.
Rory: And apparently, now that I'm the pretty spinster living all alone, he's concerned for my safety.
Rory: Did he tell you all this?
Lorelai: Do you think I labeled myself the pretty spinster?
Rory: What did you say?
Lorelai: I haven't talked to him face-to-face. I come home to this and there was a note and his card and his gun.
Rory: Oh, jeez!
Lorelai: Yeah, and then when I called the alarm-response center to complain about the alarm, no one answered. I had to leave a message with Meg. She sweeps up.