Lane: So, what's going on in the world?
Lorelai: Nothing.
Lane: Nothing?
Lorelai: Good. Nothing good. There's absolutely nothing positive going on anywhere in the world. How could that be?
Lane: That's why I don't read the paper anymore.
Lorelai: You will mine. I am starting my own. The Good News Daily: nothing but good news every day.
Lane: Sounds good.
Lorelai: "No civil war in Canada", big article. "Cars drive down road without incident", front-page news. "Puppies - how cute are they?", in-depth expos. And the subscription is free. How happy is that?