Frasier: Roz, that woman is all over me.
Roz: Well, of course she is. Didn't you get what I was trying to tell ya?
Frasier: Yes, of course I got it. I also got it when she showed me how she can tie a knot in a cherry stem with her tongue.
Roz: That's a party trick.
Frasier: Except the cherry was in my mouth at the time.

Niles: I saw her first!
Frasier: That's not fair. You're the host, you see everyone first.

Martin: I want you to meet a big fan of yours. Kathy Locker, this is my son, Dr. Frasier Crane.
Kathy: I was just telling your father how much I love your show. You're such a good listener.
Frasier: Uh-huh.
Kathy: Just yesterday, you gave the best advice to that woman who called in with a problem about her teenage son. What was it you said, exactly?
Frasier: Oh, what do I ever say? You're in denial, seek help, whatever, blah, blah, blah. [walks away]
Kathy: He's a little different from what I expected.
Martin: Yeah, he's not what I expected either, but you get used to it.

Vicky: Is it a serious problem?
Frasier: Oh, no. He's always run like that.

Vicky: You two seem very close.
Frasier: Oh, yes. I'm his best friend. Well, his only friend really.
Vicky: Well that surprises me. He seems very outgoing.
Frasier: Doesn't he, though? Yes, the medication seems to be working wonders. Just hope he sticks with it this time. Well, shall we hit the buffet?

Frasier: My God! What is wrong with me? Why can't I find a single woman who's interested in me?
Roz: Those are two different questions, really, so we should just sit down and talk them both over. Oh, wait, I
can't, because I'm in labor!

Frasier: How's the coffee, Dad?
Martin: Better. This time it's hot and it's got extra cream. Of course, it's still chicken soup.
Frasier: Well, who needs coffee when we can keep alert by perusing these very up-to-date magazines? Oh, look, Dad. That cute Tricia Nixon's getting married.

Frasier: I suppose you also came to gloat. You got Vicky, I didn't.
Niles: Neither of us got Vicky. She went home with the bartender.
Frasier: Really? Well, you know what I say? Her loss.
Niles: Absolutely right. Her loss. Has saying that ever made you feel any better?
Frasier: Not a whit.

Martin: You know, I sure would love to hold her for just a second?
Frasier: You know, maybe we should just wait until you're not dripping toxins.

Frasier: Oh, Roz. Congratulations again. I'm so proud of you. Your little girl is just perfect.
Roz: She is, isn't she?
Frasier: Mm-hmm. My God, look at your face.
Roz: Oh, yeah, I must look real lovely.
Frasier: Yes, that's exactly how you look, lovely. I don't think I've ever seen your face more purely happy than right now. Oh, little Alice, how I wish you could wake up right now and see how beautiful your mother looks. [Roz is asleep, head slung back, mouth wide open, snoring.] Then again, you need your rest.