Frasier Quote #3032
Frasier: Anyway, it was an honest mistake. Cam and I are on all the same mailing lists. I'm sure mine is in his box. Besides, it's nothing personal, look, it's just an announcement for some place called La Porte d'Argent.
Martin: Probably just another froufrou restaurant or froufrou clothing store.
Frasier: No, no, no, this is not "froufrou," Dad, as evidenced by the manly scent of balsam.
Quote from Frasier
Daphne: So what kind of hoity toity place did it end up being?
Frasier: It was a hell hole! They had the nerve to call it a day spa, when it's nothing more than a mere front for a bona fide luxury spa which taunts those kept at bay outside its golden door.
Martin: If you didn't go in, how do you know it's better?
Frasier: It had to be! The door was gold, ours was only silver. Gold is better than silver.
Niles: [muttering] Stupid silver.
Quote from Frasier
[As Frasier carries Niles through the supposed "Platinum Door" of the spa:]
Frasier: [gasps] Niles! Healing warmth and light! It must be a magnificent solarium.
Niles: Goodbye sweet and edible facials, hello radiant life-givingsun!
[On the other side, which is revealed to be nothing more than an alley behind the spa:]
Niles: It's beautiful. It's beautiful.
Frasier: Yes. This is where we belong.
Niles: Do you smell garbage?
Frasier: Oh dear, Niles. I don't think this is part of the spa. [banging on the door] Hello! Hello! Anyone in the relaxation grotto!
Niles: Frasier, look at all those bees.
Frasier: Bees? Niles! Our sweet and edible facials! Run!
Quote from She's the Boss
Frasier: What the hell was that? Was that a gunshot?
Niles: Morning, Frasier. Just getting up?
Frasier: "Just getting up?" Are you out of your mind? A gun just went off in here!
Martin: Niles bought a starter's pistol.
Niles: And there's no need to get snippy. Accidents happen, you know.
Frasier: Oh, I'm sorry. Was I snippy? I didn't realize it was too much to ask that there not be gunplay in my living room!
Quote from The Good Son
Niles: Of course, I can't take care of him.
Frasier: Oh, yes, of course. Of course. Why?
Niles: Because Dad doesn't get along with Maris.
Frasier: Who does?
Niles: I thought you liked my Maris.
Frasier: I do. I like her from a distance. You know, the way you like the sun. Maris is like the sun, except without the warmth.