Niles: [yawns] Forgive me. Olga and I were up till all hours at a party for the "Royal Shakespeare Company." I'm rubbing pretty impressive shoulders these days. And to think it's all because I have a small column.
Frasier: That would certainly be the Freudian interpretation.

Niles: If it's any consolation, I got fired from "The Monocle."
Frasier: Niles, I'm sorry.
Niles: I panned a wretched musical, not realizing the lead was the person who does Olga's hair.
Frasier: She fired you just to placate her hairdresser?
Niles: Electrolysist. And if you'd ever seen her in a sundress, you'd forgive her as I have.

Niles: If I were to review that attitude I would say it was a chilling portrait of malice and envy.
Frasier: Oh, Niles, I'm not the least bit envious that you get to spout off in that glorified cat-box liner.
Niles: You just can't stand it that my opinion means more than yours. That the arts community looks to me for my insight, my approval, my thumbs-up.
Frasier: I think we both know what your thumb's up these days.