Niles Quote #2072
Quote from Niles in The Ann Who Came to Dinner
Patrol Officer: According to her tracking device, your wife is in this vehicle.
Niles: But that's absurd.
Daphne: And she's his ex-wife.
Martin: Oh, no, the press is here.
Patrol Officer: Open the trunk, sir.
Niles: Look, look. Please, there's an item of a very personal nature in there, if you could just keep the media away...
Patrol Officer: Now!
Niles: See, see? No Maris. Oh, careful with that. That's what I didn't want you to-
[The patrolman pulls the cover off the painting.]
Martin: Oh, geez!
Patrol Officer: What the hell is that?
Niles: It's Pan, the satyr. A minor god of mischief, debauchery and fornication. [The patrolman looks disgusted.]
Daphne: That's what our son would look like if I were a goat.
Frasier Quotes
‘The Ann Who Came to Dinner’ Quotes
Quote from Niles
Daphne: Look at this fancy back scratcher.
Niles: That's not exactly what it is. Every winter Maris would fly down to the private island her family owns in the south Pacific. On Christmas, she'd let the native children come by and fish coins from hers fountains.
Martin: Oh, some kind of coin-scooper, huh?
Niles: No, no. It's a stick with a claw on the end it in case any of the children got too close to her.
Quote from Niles
Roz: Is it true that she fired one of the gardeners because she found a worm on the front walk?
Niles: Well, to be fair, Maris has always been frightened and disgusted by them.
Roz: It's just a stupid worm.
Niles: No, I'm talking about gardeners.
Quote from Niles
Niles: Ah, I found me. Daphne, avert your eyes. Let's get this thing wrapped up and into my trunk.
Martin: Oh, geez. How could you stand to look at yourself like that?
Niles: I never had to. It was in Maris' bedroom.