Martin Quote #1098
Quote from Martin in War of the Words
Martin: Well, your Uncle Niles has a painful history with spelling bees.
Frederick: Really? Was he any good?
Martin: Oh, one of the best to ever compete.
Freddie: Better than you Dad?
Frasier: Son, as good as I was, my spelling couldn't compare with Niles's. He was right up there with the likes of William Karek from Akron, and that Peterson girl from Omaha.
Martin: Except your uncle was even younger. Some people thought he wasn't ready, that it was a mistake to bring him up to the show right of elementary school, but he made it. All the way to the last word.
Frederick: What happened?
Frasier: He didn't even try to spell it. He just stood there for a moment, then turned and walked off the stage.
Martin: He was immediately disqualified and he never competed again.
Frederick: Never?
Martin: Sure, he'd spell now and again. But only to help you out. And you had to really need it, 'cause he could spot a set-up a mile away.
Frederick: Wow. Sounds to me like he choked.
Martin: Choked. [dramatic voice] Or, was he the victim of an elaborate conspiracy?
Frederick: Really?
Martin: Oh, I thought I heard him coming down the hall. He choked.
Frasier Quotes
‘War of the Words’ Quotes
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: Lilian, the next time your perfectionist tendencies drive you to distraction, just remember this quotation from Henry James: "Excellence does not require perfection."
Lillian: "That's very helpful. Thank you."
Frasier: Or is it "demand"? Hmm. "Require"? "Demand"? "Excellence does not require perfection." "Excellence does not demand perfection."
Roz: Aren't they the same thing?
Frasier: Of course not, Roz. Shush! "Excellence", "demand", "require", "demand", "require"- Oh! Or is it "mandate"?
Lillian: "I really have to go now." [call disconnects]
Frasier: Oh, well, it doesn't really matter, anyway, does it? Meantime, Seattle, this is Doctor Frasier Crane, wishing you good day- Oh! It's "require". It is "require"! And good mental health.
Quote from Daphne
Frasier: Listen, I'm afraid I've got some bad news. I could only get two tickets for the spelling bee competition tomorrow.
Daphne: Oh, that's a shame. But we'll be there in spirit. It's probably just as well considering how emotional I get watching children compete. I keep thinking how much it means to them. Like the little girl who studies over candle light while her father's down at the local pub, drinking away the money for the light bill. Or the little girl on the school bus who pretends not to see her father waving at her from the pub. Then there's the little girl who thinks that by doing well she can grow up, purchase the local pub, and turn it into a circus so her father can keep his promise. [sobbing, exits]
Niles: We had a little wine at lunch.
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: Frederick Crane, from Massachusetts, your word is "onomatopoeia"
[Freddie stands up and takes a breath.]
Frasier: Wrong. Where are your knees? I want to see spelling knees.
Frederick: Oh, yeah, right.
Frasier: The last thing I want is you passing out on stage because of locked knees.
Frederick: I know. Allison Sharpe, the "'Frisco Fainter".
Frasier: She went down like a sack of hammers.