Moira: So there are four of us in the raft, and I see we're heading into a patch of white water. Suddenly, we slam into a rock, and the next thing I know my teeth are flying into the Colorado River. I damn near dived in after them. Those teeth cost more than the whole trip.
Roz: You've had quite a life.
Moira: I suppose. Never got arrested, though. Oh, good for you.
Roz: It wasn't so great. You know, it was the first time I ever got pulled over and couldn't flirt my way past it.
Moira: Oh, that's almost as bad as the first time somebody calls you "Ma'am."
Roz: That happened the other day. It's been kind of a rough week.
Moira: I bet I know just what you're thinking. "This is only the beginning. It's only gonna get worse from here."
Roz: Well, yeah.
Moira: Let me tell you something. I'm 81 now. And every morning, I open my eyes and I see the sun streaming through the window. I hear the birds chirping, I smell the coffee brewing down the hall, and I walk into the bathroom and I look into the mirror. And do you know what I say to myself?
Roz: What?
Moira: [screams]
Roz: What the hell is that?
Moira: That's the second thing I say. The point is, it is only gonna get worse from where you are right now. Well, what did you want me to say? "Life gets better with every passing year?" You want to hear that, you go talk to Mrs. Adelman. You can't miss her. She's the one in the TV room with the inflatable seahorse around her waist.
Roz: Well you're not making me feel any better, Moira.
Moira: It's 'cause I can't. Nobody likes to get older. But it doesn't mean you can't enjoy yourself. I'll tell you a funny story. Last Thursday, I hacked into the main computer here and changed the schedule. So now, I get all my sponge-baths from Eduardo.
Roz: You're kidding me.
Moira: Look, you're way too young to be concerned about all this. Don't waste the best years of your life worrying about something you can't control.
Roz: I know. I know you're right. You know, I wouldn't care about getting older if I thought my mind was gonna be as sharp as yours is.
Moira: Sharp? I'll tell you a funny story. Last Thursday, I hacked into the main computer here and changed the schedule. And now, I get all my sponge-baths from Eduardo.