Dr. Schachter: That is it! That is it! In thirty years as a couples therapist, I've never said what I'm about to say: Give up! It's hopeless! You are pathologically mistrustful of each another, competitive to the point of madness! So, trust me, just meet each other at weddings and funerals, and the rest of the time, stay the hell away from each other! Now, I am going to limp to the nearest pub and drink until the rest of me is as numb as my ass!
Niles: Well... that's quite a diagnosis.