Ray Quote #1122
Ray: Guys, come here. Listen, Daddy pulled a few strings and got you better parts in the play, okay? Now, here are your new costumes.
Debra: They're rocks?
Ray: No, boulders! These are great parts, guys, huh? Best parts in the whole play! The mighty boulders! You didn't even tell them they could be boulders.
Debra: So what do they do?
Ray: They guard the entrance to the castle.
Debra: Do they have lines?
Ray: No, but here's the thing, guys, you know the part where the prince comes home weary from his long journey? Well, he's going to come over and rest on one of you guys. And then, while he's resting on one of you guys, he puts his knapsack right on the other guy. And it's a heavy knapsack, but you are a boulder!
Debra: So they just sit there?
Ray: Only for the whole play. It's a good part. It's great and they're perfect for it. Come on, let's try them on, guys. Sit down, sit down. Sit, sit. Oh, you look awesome! I'm proud of you guys!
Debra: Ray, you made them scenery!
Everybody Loves Raymond Quotes
‘Fairies’ Quotes
Quote from Ray
Frank: You're fine with your sons dressing up like fairies for all of Long Island to see?
Ray: First of all, it's not in front of all of Long Island, okay? There's 40 people in the school's cafe-gym-a-torium, all right? Second of all, do you hear yourself?! Aren't you embarrassed to talk that way?!
Frank: What way?!
Ray: You know! Your old stupid ideas that you and your lodge buddies sit around and laugh at between bouts of gas.
Frank: Don't say nothing about my lodge buddies!
Ray: Who, the guys you swim naked with?
Frank: That's lodge policy!
Ray: Yeah, all right. Is it "lodge policy" to force your opinions on other people? Look, they're my kids, I'll raise them the way I want to raise them.
Quote from Marie
Marie: Oh, please. This won't make them gay. And even if it does, it's fine. It's better than fine, it's wonderful. Who cares what they are, so long as they're happy? You know what? I hope they do turn gay.
Frank: You're just saying that to make me mad!
Marie: Why are you mad? You think that's the worst thing that could happen? Them turning out like you is the worst thing that could happen.
Quote from Frank
Frank: Oh, who cares? The next day, I put up the basketball hoop. Before you know it, you had a shelf full of trophies. By the way, when are you going to get that crap out of my house?
Ray: Yeah, Dad needs that space for his "Father of the Year" awards.
Frank: What are you, cracking wise? My hard work is the only reason the two of you aren't flitting around here like a couple of tinkerbells! Even so, you're still a "bachelor."
Marie: Don't be ridiculous.
Debra: Yeah, Frank, dressing the twins like fairies is not going to make them gay.
Frank: Well, it's not going to make them teamsters.
Marie: I'm sure there are gay teamsters.
Frank: You, madam, are ignorant.