Robert Quote #308

Quote from Robert in Someone's Cranky

Robert: [crying] Sure, I've put on a big show about how Ma loves Raymond better and Dad's an ogre, but they do take care of me!
Debra: Okay.
Robert: I've got a place to sleep, laundry, the food is unbelievable! Her lasagna, her pie, even something as simple as Cream of Wheat, which you wouldn't think would be different from one place to another. I don't know why, but hers is better.
Debra: Robert, l- I didn't mean to suggest-
Robert: Oh, my God! You know, maybe I never wanted to move out of there. What kind of a nutjob am I? Nutjob! Nutjob!
Debra: No, no! Robert, you're not.
Robert: You're right, Debra. You're right. Maybe- Maybe I don't wanna get better. I must love being the victim. Oh my God, I'm doing it right now! Look at me! I don't think I can stop, Debra. I don't think I'm ever gonna stop! Help me out of this! Please, help me out of this!
Debra: Robert, you're crushing me!


 ‘Someone's Cranky’ Quotes

Quote from Debra

Debra: Robert, look. No, listen. You're not so... Listen, I feel sorry for myself too sometimes.
Robert: Not like me. I got issues.
Debra: No, I have my moments.
Robert: Yeah, you. Like what?
Debra: Like, um, okay. For instance, you know I grew up in a nice, normal family, I was used to people being a certain way. And then I married your brother, which is great, but they are over, every day, a lot! "Hello, dear." "Holy crap!" "Hello, dear." "Holy crap!" I mean, you know, on Friday, your mother was over nine times, in one day! Nine times! And at times like that it's hard for me not to say, "Why me?" You know, "Why me?" Why, why, why, why, why, why?

Quote from Robert

Robert: Well, I suppose you heard my wonderful news.
Debra: Yeah, three more weeks.
Robert: Three more weeks.
Debra: No, listen. [cheerful] Three more weeks.
Robert: Well, if you say it like that... Here, let me try. [cheerful] Bubonic plague.

 Robert Barone Quotes

Quote from The Angry Family

Robert: [clears throat] Uh, if I may... You mentioned, Father Hubley, that I was not included in that book, and that is a very astute observation. And I do believe that my unique position in this... family, as that of an outsider, allows me to view this hodgepodge of life from a rather unique vantage point.
Ray: Top of a beanstalk?
Robert: And I do maintain that if anyone is to blame, Father, for this river of pent-up hostility that runs through this sorry bunch like you-know-what through a we-know-what... that person goes by the name... of Raymond.
Ray: Oh, sit down, you dope.
Robert: He is and always has been the center... the center of attention, the center of affection, he always gets the center chair in the kitchen. And this anger of which you speak, from the rest of these poor souls, stems from his unwillingness to share even the tiniest portion of the spotlight that shines, without end... on him.

Quote from Lucky Suit

Robert: Now I gotta go through my interview in an unlucky suit.
Marie: Just because you're not wearing your lucky suit doesn't mean that whatever you do wear will be unlucky.
Robert: Look at my life. All my other clothes are unlucky.