Ray Quote #220
Priest: We all have these kinds of feeling from time to time. You know, there was a man on our church council a few years ago. A decent enough fellow but a bit abrasive. Oblivious to anyone else's feelings. I wanted to get him out of my hair. I used to fantasize about him converting to Judaism. One day, I said, "Frank, I think..."
Ray: Wait, a minute his name was Frank?
Priest: That's unimportant. The point-
Ray: No. Frank Barone?
Priest: You know Frank Barone?
Ray: He's my father.
Priest: Your parents are Frank and Marie Barone?
Ray: Yes.
Priest: You're absolved.
Ray: What?
Priest: Our Lord forgives your thoughts.
Ray: Yeah? Really? You're sure?
Priest: Well, I could look it up but I'm almost positive.
Everybody Loves Raymond Quotes
‘Neighbors’ Quotes
Quote from Ray
Debra: Ray, you've got nothing to feel guilty for. You didn't do anything. As a matter of fact, you were defending them.
Ray: That doesn't matter. Guilt is just a way of life for me. I was trained by masters: my mother, my father, the Pope.
Quote from Ray
Ray: I'm sorry, Father, I thought this was the confessional.
Priest: This is the confessional.
Ray: uh, where's the booth with the kneeler and the sliding window through which you can't see me?
Priest: You haven't been here in a while have you?
Ray: Uh, about twenty years. I've been good.
Quote from Ray
Ray: Oh, I start, right? Okay. Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been, well, you know, a long time since my last confession. Let's see. Uh, I've cursed about 90,000 times. Ate a lot of meat on Fridays.
Priest: Oh, we abolished that rule a long time ago.
Ray: Wow, you guys are changing everything.
Priest: Now, what really brings you here after 20 years?
Ray: All right, the thing is I think I broke one of the commandments. The one about "Honor thy father and thy mother".
Priest: Really?
Ray: That's bad, huh?
Priest: I just don't get that one a lot. At least not from someone in your age group. You're more in the "Covet thy neighbor's wife" phase of life.