Julius Quote #349
Quote from Julius in Everybody Hates My Man
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Back at home, I wasn't the only one who needed a new man on the job.
Mr. Omar: Oh! Excuse me, Mr. Julius. Exactly the man I was looking for.
Julius: Is everything all right?
Mr. Omar: Actually, I got a bit of a situation. You wouldn't know anyone looking for a job, would you?
[fantasy:]
Julius: Me! Me! I want a job! Me! Whoo! I want a... Me!
[reality:]
Julius: What kind of job? I mean, I might be interested.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] If my father had been a rapper, his name would've been Snoop Jobby-Job.
Mr. Omar: Don't you already have two jobs? You want another one?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That's like asking Amy Winehouse if she wants another drink.
Everybody Hates Chris Quotes
‘Everybody Hates My Man’ Quotes
Quote from Julius
Drew: I don't know how you can stand being around all those dead people.
Julius: I love it. It makes you realize that life is short. Anything can happen at any time. A toilet could fall out of the sky and crush you. A bus door could clamp on your neck and choke you. A poisonous lizard could escape from the zoo and bite you. You could fall off a bridge and drown. [3 hours later] And you could trip and fall in front of a power mower and be decapitated. [1:00 a.m.] [on the phone] You could be smoking a cigarette and blow up while siphoning 65 cents worth of glass. And you could eat some bad coleslaw and get diarrhea and die of dehydration. [the next morning] You could step in a puddle and be electrocuted by a downed wire. You could blow your nose and startle a cat with rabies...
Rochelle: Okay, okay, we get it! We can die at any time, and you're happy!
Julius: That's right.
Quote from Mr. Omar
Julius: Well, what's the job?
Mr. Omar: Well, my assistant died today.
Julius: Oh, no. What happened?
Mr. Omar: Well, he went to a dollar theater to watch the movie Airplane, when ironically, a chemical toilet fell out of an airplane, crashed through the roof and crushed him. Tragic. Tragic!
Quote from Julius
Rochelle: What's going on with you?
Julius: What are you talking about?
Rochelle: You're singing and dancing and willing to pay for finger waves and earrings?
Tonya: Are you leaving us for a White woman?
Julius: No. It's just being at this new job, I'm with dead people everywhere I go. It just makes me feel like I need to appreciate life a little more. Oh, this is good! What is this, baby?
Rochelle: Vegetables.
Julius: You kids try this? Chris, pass me the big piece of carrot.