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Quote from Rochelle in Everybody Hates the Gout

Chris: Okay. I was afraid you'd get mad at me for getting an F. I thought I could do better next semester, so I changed my grade, forged your signature onto the report card and gave it to Miss Morello. I thought you wouldn't find out.
Rochelle: [mocking] "I thought you wouldn't find out." Boy, what do I look like, Boo-Boo the Fool? You're running around here lying, forging my signature. Have you lost your mind? Look, Chris, if you lie... you steal, if you steal, you kill, and I am not getting your behind out of jail. Chris, if you would have put this much effort into passing the class in the first place, you wouldn't be in this mess. I am very upset that you failed that class, but I'm more upset that you lied to me. You are not stupid, Chris. Don't act like it. Remember, I bought you in this world, I'll take you right out. You understand me?
Chris: Yes, ma'am.
Rochelle: All right. Now bring your behind home.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My mother had a funny way of making me feel like the smartest idiot in the world.
Chris: Wait, that's it?
Rochelle: No, you better bring that grade up, or I'm gonna slap the wax out your ears.

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