Mr. Feeny: I realize that all you seventh graders are delicate adolescent flowers just beginning your high school blooming. So I say this with the utmost sensitivity, take this test OR DIE!

Mr. Turner: George, you live next door to Matthews?
Mr. Feeny: It's not something I brag about.

Shawn: You're a disgrace to the entire back row.

Mr. Turner: No, you didn't go on strike because you didn't have the one thing you need to go on strike. You know what you didn't have?
Shawn: Mob connections.

Mr. Turner: You know you've got a principal living next door?
Alan: It's not something we brag about.

Mr. Turner: I don't think that's radical thinking, do you?
Mr. Feeny: Not at all, Mr. Turner. In fact, why don't we just take of all our clothes and run willy nilly through the woods.

Mr. Feeny: How do you determine that they know their stuff, Mr. Turner?
Mr. Turner: Because I know my kids, George.
Mr. Feeny: I know my dog but I haven't a clue what he's thinking.
Mr. Turner: You have a dog?
Mr. Feeny: Well, no.

Mr. Turner: I gave them the test. Interestingly they gave it back to me.
Mr. Feeny: Well, of course they did, Earring Boy.

Mr. Turner: Yeah, because if they had done to me -
Mr. Feeny: That's getting old, hot shot.

Mr. Feeny: I can do whatever I want, I have the megaphone.