Michael: Shouldn't Buster be spending his evenings with women that aren't so much his mother?
Lucille: He's a beautiful boy. They don't appreciate him. It's his glasses. They make him look like a lizard. Plus, he's self-conscious.
Michael: Gee, I wonder why.
Lucille: You're one to talk. When's the last time you went on a date?
Michael: I just haven't met anybody who's not self-absorbed and impossible to have a conversation with.
Lucille: If that's a veiled criticism about me, I won't hear it and I won't respond to it.

Lucille: He's fine. I'll be in the hospital bar.
Michael: Uh, you know, there isn't a hospital bar, Mother.
Lucille: Well, this is why people hate hospitals. [cackles]

Lindsay: Bulldozing? What about the trees?
Michael: We're just gonna cover them up with blankets. [off Lindsay's look] I'm ripping them out.
Lindsay: Anything for a buck, right? You are so materialistic.
Michael: Don't suddenly turn this into one of your causes.
Lindsay: It's not sudden, Michael. I've always been deeply passionate about nature. Perhaps you remember Neuterfest?
Michael: I'll never forget your wedding.
Lindsay: I care deeply for nature.
Michael: You're wearing ostrich skin boots.
Lindsay: Well, I don't care about ostriches.