Narrator: At that moment, Buster was taking his physical at the recruitment center.
Buster: I have a hole in my heart. I've never opened my eyes underwater. My, um, [whispers] reproductive organ is shaped like a lobster tail, but without its shell, hmm? Oh, I guess I have the panic attacks under control. Oh, and I'm legally blind at night.
Narrator: But Buster had miscalculated the army's current need for personnel.
Army Doctor: Okay, then, let's get you fitted for a uniform.
Buster: What? What?