Dick Quote #1239
Quote from Dick in Dial M for Dick
Inspector Macaffery: [Enters] Everybody stay exactly where you are. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats. I am Inspector Macaffery from Scotland Yard.
Tommy: He got here quick.
Inspector Macaffery: No one is to leave the premises. Until further investigation, everyone is considered a suspect.
Dick: Everyone? Sh-sh-surely you don't mean everyone?
Inspector Macaffery: Given the right circumstances, anyone is capable of murder.
Dick: But not everyone.
Inspector Macaffery: Yes, everyone.
Dick: But not anyone.
Inspector Macaffery: Yes.
More 3rd Rock from the Sun Quotes
‘Dial M for Dick’ Quotes
Quote from Dick
Dick: And while I was contemplating that thong, I wondered... who is the person that we would least suspect of poisoning the Colonel?
Inspector Macaffery: Will you sit down? You're stealing my part. I get to do this.
Dick: How many more people have to die because of your incompetence?
Inspector Macaffery: I do the summation after brunch, every Sunday. Read the damn brochure!
Dick: No! The least likely suspect is the person who, herself, was poisoned, but poisoned only to the extent that she lay sick in her room, above suspicion, away from the crowd, the perfect dose. And who knows more about poisons than an anthropologist? A toxicologist? Yes. But forget I just said that. That leads nowhere. No! Mary Albright killed Jack Wallencott and then in a fever of vengefulness, she killed my dear friend, Colonel Pinkham.
Mary: What the-
Dick: Yes, Mary. I could tell immediately you were jealous. You never expected the Colonel and me to forge such a bond. And if you couldn't have me, no one else could.
Mary: You can't accuse me of murder, you can only accuse the actors.
Dick: And which "actors" would those be, Mary?
Colonel Pinkham: If you had hips the size of that blonde woman, would you be wearing that skirt?
Mrs. Wallencott: Oh, darling, please. I wouldn't even leave the house. Ooh.
Dick: Colonel. You're alive. And Mr. Wallencott, you... you can walk! Wait a minute, you only pretended to die. None of this is real. This is all a scam! No, wait! You're all actors. This... is the show, right? Well, you were all marvelous.
Inspector Macaffery: And you, sir, are the reason I want to leave acting, and return to my first passion... drink!
Quote from Dick
Dick: Oh, this is horrible. A man has just been murdered, and everyone is calmly standing around eating sorbet. Obviously, these people have been completely desensitized by all the gratuitous violence they've seen on television and movies... especially the movies.
Dick Solomon Quotes
Quote from Fear and Loathing in Rutherford
Strudwick: You know, it's funny. I used to bring these creamers home to Alissa. She'd have little tea parties with her stuffed animals. They grow up quick, don't they?
Dick: Yeah. I can remember when Tommy didn't even know how to wipe his own butt. Then he figured it out all on his own. And taught me.
Quote from Brains and Eggs
Mary: For future reference, I have a red Volvo.
Dick: [gasps] Please, Dr. Albright! We barely know each other.