Frank: Uh, look, Dick. Sit down, will you? You have nothing to worry about. I'm not interested in Mary or anybody like her... if you know what I mean.
Dick: Not really.
Frank: I'm sorry if I'm being so vague, but I, um... Look, not everyone is as open-minded as I'd like. Some of the people here at Pendelton aren't ready to accept that I'm... I'm... Well, you know. From a different world.
Dick: A different world? Wait a second, are you trying to tell me that you're...
Frank: Yes.
Dick: Oh, my God. So am I!
Frank: I knew the minute you walked in.
Dick: Is it that obvious?
Frank: Uh, yeah. Yeah. Ah, so this is why you haven't married Mary.
Dick: Exactly. I love her dearly, but I didn't want to marry her and then have to go behind her back to explore. I mean, I... I am on a mission.

Don: Water. I need water.
Sally: Oh, Don, what's going on?
Don: I just foiled a bank robbery, Sally.
Harry: You're kidding.
Sally: Well, what happened? Did they trip the alarm or something?
Don: No. They dropped their bag of money outside the bank, and just as I was swooping down to write them a ticket for littering, I realized, "Hey, that's not trash. That's a bag full of money."
Tommy: So if they hadn't dropped that bag, they would have gotten away with it?
Don: Well, yes, but luckily for those of us in the law enforcement community, people always make mistakes.
Sally: Really?
Don: Oh, yeah. Criminals are stupid, but I'm always one step behind them. Oh, God! I left the bag of money in the car!

Tommy: Robbing a bank? That sounds impossible. I mean, you got the surveillance cameras and the security guards.
Harry: All those dirty magazines... and the pressure to perform.
Sally: Harry, that's a sperm bank.
Harry: Oh, God, no.