Sue Quote #130
Frankie: [v.o.] Axl and the Ax-Men weren't the only ones not taking "no" for an answer. Sue and Carly were coming up with an ill-advised solution to their problem, too.
Sue: [loud, stilted voice] This should be a good movie. I'm so glad I got the afternoon off work from the chiropractor's office where I work.
Carly: [loud, stilted voice] My work's been stressful, too. I've got a big memo due by the end of the month.
Sue: How is your coffee?
Carly: Good. How's your coffee?
Sue: Good. Remember when we saw 127 Hours? I didn't think there was enough sex and violence. I could have used more mature themes.
Carly: Yeah. I could have totally handled it. [lowers voice] We're next. Oh, my God. I think the ticket taker's looking at us. My heart is racing!
Ticket Seller: [o.s.] Next!
Sue: [deep voice] Two adult tickets for Rivers of Love, please.
Carly: [whispers] Sue! Your braces.
Sue: [gasps] [covers mouth with coffee cup] Thank you. Do you require anything else from us at this time?
Ticket Seller: No.
Sue: Very well. [both squeal]
Quote from Sue
Mike: Sue, I need to talk to you.
Mike: [sighs] Your mom and I found this ticket stub, and we are very disappointed...
Sue: I'm sorry! [sobs] I'm so sorry. I should have listened to you. You were right. You were totally right! I'm not ready to see an R-rated movie! They said and did weird things. And then how could he sleep with his wife and then sleep with his wife's sister the next day? It was disgusting! And that's not even the worst of it! Mom's always telling me to just put one pump of butter on my popcorn, but I put three pumps 'cause I thought I could handle it! But I couldn't, Dad! I couldn't handle it! I threw up on the theater floor. Oh, God. How could I ever doubt you? [sobs]
Quote from Sue
Mike: Okay, well, it seems like you realize what you did was wrong, but, Sue, you know, there are consequences to lying.
Sue: There should be so many consequences!
Mike: Right... and so you are grounded for a week. No TV.
Sue: No, that's not enough! I defied you!
Mike: Oh. Okay. Well... I'm taking your iPod, too.
Sue: And I lied about where I was.
Mike: Uh, how about... no phone?
Sue: I took Mom's sweater without asking!
Mike: [sighs] I'm kinda running out of things to take from you, Sue.
Sue: Well, sometimes after school, I like to go over to the soccer field and watch the guy mow the lawn.
Mike: All right. You can't do that... For two weeks. Matter of fact, that's kinda strange. Why don't you stop doing that altogether?
Sue: But wait. There's more! Look at this! [sobs] Brick and I did it! Oh, God! I just sold Brick down the river! What kind of a sister am I?! I should be punished for not supporting my brother! I should be punished for everything I ever did wrong because you guys are the best parents ever...
Quote from Sue
Sue: Dad! Please. There are a ton of reasons why I should be allowed to see this movie. Just hear me out. Number one, "I am very mature and have exhibited maturity in other aspects of my life, making me prepared to watch mature situations and adult themes." Number two, it stars my favorite actor, Taylor Lautner." I-I-I'll skip down a bit. Uh, 27...
Mike: Honey, you're not 17. It's against the law.
Sue: Just take my list. Peruse it at your leisure.
Mike: Sue, it's not happenin'. It doesn't matter if you have a hundred reasons why. Oh. Look at that. You do.
Quote from Film, Friends and Fruit Pies
Mike: Hang on a sec. Where's all this money coming from?
Sue: Well, I've been using my Spudsy's money, and I popped all the quarters out of my 50 states collector's book, and I've been donating plasma. I'm not exactly sure what plasma is, and I don't know if you need it, but, from the way I've been feeling, I'm guessing you do.
Quote from The College Tour
Sue: Hey, Dad... Why do you think the tour guide gave me all these brochures? There's a Cherokee weaving workshop, and here's one on the headdress exhibit at the art museum.
Mike: Hmm, that's weird. They didn't give that stuff to anybody else?
Mike: I don't know. It's not like you're Native American.
Sue: Yes, I am.
Mike: N-no, Sue. You're not.
Sue: Sure, I am. I mean, that's what I put on my forms.
Mike: What? Why did you do that?
Sue: 'Cause I'm a native of America. I'm a native American.
Mike: Sue, now they think you're Native American!
Sue: Right, a native American.
Mike: [sighs] Say, "I'm a native American."
Sue: I'm a native American. Oh! I hear it now. Well, what was I supposed to check? There was no other option that seemed right. It's not like we're "ca-kah-zee-an."
Mike: Actually, Sue, we are.
Sue: What?! Oh, my God, this is horrible! They're gonna think that I tried to pull one over on them, that I lied on my forms, and it says it's a felony to lie on those forms. Oh, my God! I committed a felony! [music box plays] [vomits]
Quote from The Ditch
Frankie: [v.o.] Sue's ditch day wasn't exactly fun yet. But she knew as soon as she intercepted the call from the attendance office, she could really start living. Provided she stayed low to the ground and out of sight.
Sue: [answers phone] Hello?
Woman: This is the Orson High attendance office. May I speak to Frankie Heck, please?
Sue: [British accent] Yes, this is she! [whispers] Why am I British?
Woman: I'm just verifying that Sue Heck is home sick today.
Sue: [British accent] Oh, yes. She is quite sick. Sick as the Dickens, I'm afraid.
Woman: Well, please make sure she brings a note with a parent signature.
Sue: [British accent] A note?
Woman: Yes. It's a requirement anytime a student has been absent.
Sue: [British accent] Very well. A note. I'll add it to my shed-ule. Cheerio!