Michael: I screwed up. I'm owning it. I mean, I'm a superior being... I ought to act like one, right? So I really thought about each one of you, and I got you something that will make you happy. I call them "opposite tortures."
Eleanor: Do you mean presents?
Michael: Yes, that's better. Thank you. Tahani, here's yours.
Tahani: Holy mama. Is this a diamond?
Michael: Yeah. Honestly, I don't get the appeal. Diamonds are literally carbon molecules lined up in the most boring way. They're worthless space garbage. What you're holding right now... that's basically meteorite poop.
Tahani: [squealing] And I have the biggest piece!