Jerry Quote #986
Quote from Jerry in The Hamptons
[stand-up:]
Jerry: Look at the work that people will do to get to the ocean. They'll fight the traffic and the heat and the parking and the hot sand. Trying to get through the waves, and the ironic thing is the ocean doesn't even want us in there. That's what surfing is. Surfing is the ocean throwing us out of itself, you see? We keep trying to paddle in, and the ocean's saying, "No you don't." The ocean is like a nightclub and the waves are bouncers tossing us out. The undertow's like a really mean bouncer. Instead of throwing you out, they take you in back and rough you up a little bit. "Oh, you wanna come in? How about coming in, like, 25 miles?"
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Hamptons’ Quotes
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: I find the human fascination with water is amazing. We're constantly going to beaches, pools, lakes, rivers. We're swimming, we're snorkeling, we're scuba-diving. We bathe in it. Our bodies are mostly made of water. Everyone's carrying around these bottles of water. It's like we can't get enough water. Unless it rains, then we're like, "Oh, look. I'm soaked. I am literally drenched." For some reason, we have a huge problem with small, flying water. It'll just stop us right in our tracks. "I felt a drop. We're gonna get caught in it! Everyone cover your water bottles. Run!"
Quote from George
Rachel: Strange man.
Jerry: Wait'll you get to know him.
Rachel: So where is this baby, anyway?
Jerry: Oh, check it out. I guarantee you've never seen anything quite so objectionable. It's down the hall, third door on your left.
[Rachel walks in on George as he's changing his swim suit]
Rachel: Oh, my God! I'm sorry, I thought this was the baby's room. [chuckles] I'm really sorry.
George: I was in the pool! I was in the pool!
Quote from George
George: What if she discusses it with Jane?
Jerry: Oh, she's not gonna tell Jane.
George: How do you know?
Jerry: Women aren't like us.
George: They're worse! They're much worse than us, they talk about everything! Couldn't you at least tell her about the shrinkage factor?
Jerry: No, I'm not gonna tell her about your shrinkage. Besides, I think women know about shrinkage.
George: How do women know about shrinkage?
Jerry: Isn't it common knowledge?